Dealing with Discouragement
Let's face it. Everyone gets discouraged in their life. And there are a multitude of reasons why we get discouraged. But believe it or not, discouragement is the prerequisite to depression. So, it's very important to not let ourselves wallow in discouragement for too long.
I'm just like you. I get discouraged a lot. Sometimes, I let that discouragement take me off the path that God has laid out for my life.
A lot of my discouragement comes from not being where I imagined I would be, not knowing what direction I should be going, and feeling stuck in my current situation. Over time, the amount of discouragement I felt led to depression and a couple of therapy sessions. The therapy helped and I was back to feeling like myself. But then discouragement reared it's ugly little head again.
About a month ago, my pastor preached a sermon about dealing with discouragement and it was the kick in the butt I needed. I literally cried my eyes out in the parking lot and had to have a heart to heart with my bestfriend and another close girlfriend of mine. Since that day, the sermon has been heavy on my mind and heart. So, I thought I'd share how I've been dealing with discouragement since then.
Hopefully, what I've done to help myself can help you as well.
Tune out the opinions of other people.
Words are powerful. So powerful that they have the ability to create our reality. They can affect you emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
We often let the opinions of other people dictate the choices we make in our lives. We take the words they say to us and internalize them, making those words, whether negative or positive, our new reality. But when you value what other people think of you, you're ultimately looking for someone else to fill your cup instead of yourself.
Over the past month, I've been making a conscious effort to not let other people's realities and opinions of me come alive in my mind. I've been focusing on reminding myself of who I am daily and more importantly, who God says I am. We can never live up to the expectations of some people. Even our parents. And that's okay!
So start building yourself up often and remind yourself that you're doing the best you can. And remember that at the end of the day, it's YOUR life. You're the one who has to live with your choices. Not mom or dad or the person hiding behind an alias on social media. The only person's opinion that really matters is your own. Your happiness lies in your hands.
Fix your point of view.
Often times the source of our discouragement comes from comparing ourselves to other people. And with social media being the cornerstone of millennial life, avoiding comparisons is hard.
In a span of 24 hours, you can scroll down your Instagram/Facebook feed and see that Susie just got a new car (but you're still riding the bus/train). Chris just bought a house at 24 (but you're still living at home with your parents at 26). Monica just took her fourth international trip this year (but you've never made it outside of the state that you live in). We see everyone's victories, successes, and strengths. What they have and what we don’t. Why they are "better" than us. But what we don't see is their struggles, their fears, their setbacks, and their failures. So we have to remember that what we see on social media is just a snapshot. We may not like the path someone had to take to get where they are.
Ultimately, comparing ourselves to others simply removes the focus from what we should be excited about within ourselves. So don’t do it. Or at least try really hard not to. It isn’t empowering. It's great to be inspired by another person. But if we feel less than because of their success, then we need to just focus on our own path. And perhaps even consider removing them as a friend on social media.
We just have to remember that we are all on a unique path. When I find myself negatively comparing, I stop scrolling through Instagram. I've had to remind myself numerous times to be true to who I am and to be grateful of what I have and what I don't. What someone else has, may not be for me. And that's okay! I'd rather wait and see what God has in store for my life, than to try and carve out a path that wasn't made for me because I saw someone else do it on social media. Comparing myself in those areas will only discourage me from moving forward into my destiny.
Don't isolate yourself.
This point is a big one for me. Whenever I get discouraged, I shut down and shut out those around me. I don't want to leave the house. I don't want to be social. And so I make excuses on why I can't go out/leave the house so I can wallow in my melancholy. But God never wanted us to handle life's issues alone.
Over the past month, I've been making a conscious effort to talk to my bestfriend about what's really going on with me emotionally and mentally. When I finally opened up to her, I found out that she has already dealt with the very things that I was going through, and she was able to encourage me. It helped me to see that I truly wasn't alone. So don't be afraid to open up to someone. And don't be so quick to isolate yourself from the world. You never know who has already been in your shoes that can help you through your situation.
I've also been making attempts to go out more and try new things. I've reconnected with friends and church family. Most importantly, I've surrounded myself with people who love, support and encourage me. And honestly, it's been helping me to be myself again.
Take care of your yourself.
Taking good care of yourself is necessary when dealing with discouragement. Your physical, spiritual, and emotional health are all connected. Supporting one supports the others. This will give you fuel to keep going, to work through the discouragement. If you ignore it, you're going to stay discouraged. So make sure that you eat right, get your sleep, exercise, and relax.
Eating right. Embarking on the Keto journey was the best decision I ever made. Not only did it aid in my weight loss, it helped me to feel like myself again. I'm more determined and motivated. My energy level is consistently high. I no longer experience brain fog or sluggishness after meals. I get to sleep faster/easier. And I feel lighter.
Get enough sleep. We don’t give our bodies as much rest as they need to fully function. Pretty soon we find ourselves running on empty. And believe me when I tell you, I run on empty a lot. Balancing my full time job, grad school, side hustles, and a social life can be too much for me to handle at times. Which is why I often run on empty. So sleep is not only good for the body, but it is also good for the mind. A well-rested body and mind can accomplish great things.
Exercise. Exercising is top priority for me. It helps me to manage my stress levels. After working out with my trainer, I'm often so tired that I don't have the mental capacity to deal with whatever was discouraging me. But working out in general is a confidence boost to me. When I see my results, it just makes me work even harder.
Relax. Take some time off and get away from the things that are bringing you discouragement. Take a break from the demands of life once in awhile. When I finished my first year grad school in May, I took a trip to Los Cabos. When I got back, I spent the next week binge watching shows on Netflix before my summer class began. Don't be afraid to take time for yourself to recoup and rejuvenate.
I hope this post has helped you in some way. Let me know in the comments below if you've ever been discouraged and how you've dealt with it.
